Bad Romance. Literally. - Andy

Way to go, Georgina! I knew you had it in you. (For the record, folks, we DID get into an all out battle about politely ending a “relationship.” And again, for the record, I don’t follow my own rules every time.) I commend G on her resolve to face the beast and politely decline the Rude Canadian. That said, do I have a story of my own for all ya’ll.

Remember the Englishman (who was not even English)? 8 out of 10? Good hair guy?

We went on a couple dates (read: two), both of which were fun, relatively speaking. If you remember, he is younger, which is not to say he is immature. He actually surprised me with (what I thought was) emotional maturity. After the initial attraction (hello Hugh Jackman meets Luke Wilson), my interest started fading…at a rather impressive rate. I will say that I was kind of flattered by the massive quantities of texts and calls…at first. But you can only open your phone to see “I really like u” and “u are so beautiful” so many times from a relative stranger (on top of nightly calls, which I began to ignore). A relative stranger you’re not really into. A relative stranger you’ve only gone out with two times. Can you say SMOTHER*?

Add that up with a couple other random details that just weren’t my cup of tea, and I was ready to let this kid go. I was worried how he would take it because he seemed to think we were full-on dating (I have no idea why he jumped to this conclusion). After some deliberation, I decided to take the (some would say not so) high road, and text him. The text was kind, to the point, and honest (along the lines of “I just don’t see this going further”).

I breathed a sigh of relief…which lasted about 3 seconds, at which time I receive a barrage of text messages, including but not limited to: “can I call u”, “I really like u,” “I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach.” So on, and so forth. I begrudgingly talked to him later that evening, explaining my feelings as best I could (you can only say “I’m just not that into you” so many ways). As I was grappling for something to tell this guy, I mentioned a few fundamental differences between the two of us. One such difference is the fact that he boasts intense disdain for Christianity and organized religion/faith groups in general, something I would consider an active, evolving part of my life. We ended the conversation with polite “good luck”s, and once again, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Fast forward 24 hours: Without going into too much detail, I received a sudden series of novel-length text messages, berating me for my mention of faith and what he called “ironic Christian judgment.” Apparently, he is “more Christian than 99% of the Christians out there.” Since when are we comparing? Had I ever mentioned surrounding myself with ONLY the most holy of Bible thumpers? NO. He compared my choice of being with someone who at least tolerates (and hopefully supports) my faith journey (thus, the not dating him part) to his hypothetical choice to “not date a black woman cuz she is black.” Can I get a WTF?

I politely, and then, subsequently, not so politely, responded. And then, after some defensive (and even more offensive) texts back, I didn’t say another word. He doesn’t deserve an explanation from me, especially if he is going to be a small, ignorant, pathetic, rude little manboy about it. I haven’t heard from him since (thank God).

I’ll be happy if that’s my only brush with the crazies during my tenure on Match.com.

On a much happier note, things are going splendidly with the Best Date Ever…and that’s all you’re getting. :)

*I realize women are constantly saying men should shower them with affection and sweet words, but come on…this was too much!