First of all, I have to agree with Andy and her post regarding the sheer exhaustion of online dating after working a 9 hour day. Once I get home from my various evening plans, the absolute last thing I want to do is go on my computer and look at the guys who are trying to communicate with me. Because BELIEVE me there are some doozies out there.
Doozy of the week:
This sweet guy sent me a message, and said all the right things. He wrote me about his amazing job (showing his stability), his volunteer work with kids (showing how he cares about others), how much he loves his family (score in my book), and asked me questions about myself (showing that he isn’t completely self involved). Seems fairly normal, right? WRONG. Oh so VERY wrong. He also asked for my phone number, and I thought, “oh what the heck” and gave it to him. He proceeded to text me every day for a week, which doesn’t seem horrible, because we were just getting to know each other… until he started texting me questions that are not what I call “text friendly”. Exhibit a) “what made you go into your specialty in nursing?” Exhibit B) “what type of things do you do for fun?” At this point I’m screaming at my phone, “JUST CALL ME!” I do realize I could have taken the initiative to call him, but let’s be honest, I just didn’t want to.
So FINALLY 7 days later, he called me. But I was working, and he didn’t leave a message. So I called him back, and he didn’t answer, but I did leave a message. Then he called me back--- I’ll stop here, but believe me, this went on ALL night. A full twenty four hours later we finally talked on the phone. We talked for TWO hours. Everything was going well, very nice guy, great phone skills, asked me all sorts of questions, answered my questions and even had witty answers. Then he mentioned how he and some friends send emails regarding current events in sports. I asked if Tiger Woods had been a topic of conversation this week, because I mean COME ON, it’s the story of the week. He chuckled and said yes… and he proceeded, out of the blue, to tell me this story basically demonstrating his thoughts on cheating.
“So I was dating this girl in college, and we were perfect for each other. Totally best friends, it was the best relationship. Then one night I was out at the bar without her and found myself flirting with all these girls, and I knew where this was headed and knew it was not going to end well.” OK, well at this point I thought, “well great, at least he’s self aware and knows when he’s about to cross the line”. But then he continues… “So I left the bar and went and broke up with my girlfriend. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was crying, she was crying. And she said, ‘you can’t break up with me because of “what if” you cheat on me!’” And blog readers, he responded to his sobbing girlfriend, “it’s not a ‘what if’ I cheat on you, it’s a ‘when’ because it will happen.”
SERIOUSLY?!?!?
So basically he broke up with his girlfriend so that he could go hook up with other chicks. And he’s telling this story to someone he potentially would like to date? DEALBREAKER.
Did I mention that he prefaced this story with, “well this might ruin everything, but whatever”. Probably should’ve listened to that little inner voice, dude. Unfortunately this does not sound like someone I would like to get to know better or date… and get dumped by in two months, because he just “knows” he’s going to cheat on me. Did I also mention that he’s divorced? He failed to mention any of the details of that relationship…
Apparently he’s a firm believer of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” While I’m a firm believer that we are never going out.
Aaaaaaand I’m back at square one.
On a side note, the four of us would LOVE to hear any thoughts, comments or questions you may have.
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On behalf of the Y chromosome-bearing half of the species, I'd just like to mention that the guy you met was an ass. Of course, the first sign should have been the passive-aggressive texting he did, but you haven't been doing this all that long, so you haven't had time to get jaded yet. ;) I've been through this from the other end myself, but from a slightly older perspective - it's fun to read someone else's account who hasn't yet had enough of it like I did.
ReplyDelete(Three years, somewhere around eighty dates, two relationships that lasted around three months each, and I'm taking my chances in the real world now. Then again, the people at my age I'm meeting are much more gunshy than people your age - I'm 38.)
thoughts, comments or questions...how can i fit them all into this little white box??!! first of all, i am 100% absolutely undoubtedly obsessed with this blog. i log in every night before i got to bed to see if there is a new post. i know this screams: single loser. but...isn't that who this blog is really for, anyway? people who can commiserate with terrible dates, awkward opposite sex interactions and despite it all, unfailing hope that "the one" or at least "someone" is still out there.
ReplyDeletevital stats:
thoughts--this blog could be a movie.
comments--i prefer when you title your posts with memorable names instead of "Date 1/2/3" etc so that I can easily scroll to the post I am looking for when I decide to read it aloud (somewhat against her will) to one of my co-workers.
questions--is this the whole truth and nothing but the truth? let's say hypothetically i know someone who writes for this blog and hypothetically she told me that not every date gets written about (as in the ones that go really well which you don't want to jinx) which would mean you guys are hypothetically leaving out the juiciest stuff!! all hypothetical of course.
sincerely,
sleepless (and dateless) in tacoma