Lessons in Communicating - GEORGINA

I THINK....I'm about to get asked out on my first eHarmony date.

By a Canadian native.




I've heard tell that readers are confused about the stages of communication in eHarmony. Let me enlighten you.

In eHarmony, there are four (4) Stages of Communication.

• Stage 1: START COMMUNICATION. Sounds pretty basic, right? Every day, DR. NCW sends me a handful of new matches. I sift through them, and toss out all the ones from Everett or Silverdale. I kid. I only toss out the ones from Silverdale. From there, either my match or I can choose to initiate conversation. Which means simply, I receive a set of five multiple choice questions to answer. Most common one? Believe it or not: "How often do you find yourself laughing?" From there, I can send back a set of questions to my match. For those of you who know me, I'm sure it's no surprise my first question sent is: "Are pets an important part of your life?" I don't trust a man who doesn't like animals.
• Stage 2: SEND MUST HAVES/CAN'T STANDS. On this one, I'm pretty sure DR. NCW jumped the gun a little. I can tell you right now that if, in answer to my question: "Where do you see yourself in 15 years?", a match answers "D: A house in the suburbs", then I already know what I Can't Stand. End of match.
• Stage 3: SHORT ANSWER QUESTIONS. This section is what killed me on tests when I was in school. I never knew exactly how to answer the question. That is to say, I would know the RIGHT answer, but I could never resist the urge to elaborate, therefore docking points. The same is true in Stage 3. Example: a match sent me the question: "What is your Ideal Man/Woman?" What do I do? I answer something roughly: "This is a hard question to answer. I don't know what my ideal woman looks like. I am totally joking....wow, my ideal man would probably be a guy who doesn't take life too seriously [...etc...]". With that guy, we have yet to progress to stage 4, so maybe he doesn't know how to take a joke.
• Stage 4. OPEN COMMUNICATION. I am currently in this stage with about four guys. Open Communication is like emailing back and forth, after a serious message from DR. NCW telling us to be careful when going on dates with people we don't know. In open communication, you have the option to send your phone number or real email address, which is what I have done with one of those guys. The Canadian. It is also a place where the guys say things like "Your answer to one of my questions was so heartfelt! That is exactly how I feel too. Sounds perfect!"

All in all, the stages take about 3 days to get through. And truth be told, I barely even read all their answers. It just seems a little much, and I truly can't tell if I like a guy based on their answers to a multiple choice question. Even IF they use "E: [fill in own answer]". I guess I rely more on good ol' fashioned chemistry than I thought.