Ten years ago if you had asked me where I would be today, I never, ever would have said, “single. VERY single. Working as a nurse in Seattle. And again, VERY single.” The other night while waiting for a movie to start, a preview for another movie came on where the main character said, “I’m living the life I never thought I’d be living.” This phrase resonated with me throughout the movie and the following 48 hours. I’m not quite sure why. I just can’t stop thinking about it and what it means to me. I think this is a pretty accurate statement for me at this point in 2009. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy with how my life turned out. I love my life, I love being able to go out for a spontaneous drink with Abby on a Sunday night. I love being a nurse. I love that I’ve had the opportunity to travel to Europe, to spend a crazy New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas, to live in far off places (the Midwest), to live the life of a single 27 year old.
If you had asked me ten years ago where I would be today, I would have probably said, “married by 21, baby by 24, followed by one every two years until I had four children”. WOW. As I read that statement now, it makes me laugh. My life could not be more different from that. The life I thought I wanted and what actually happened are so different from each other that I can’t even compare the two. Do I wish I got married at 21? I don’t know. I can’t even imagine what my life would be like.
While I see, one by one, my friends get married and have babies, I stand on the sidelines. But I really, truly believe that one day my time will come and all that I’ve experienced in the last ten years has helped to shape me into the best person I can be (beliefs pounded into me by my very supportive mother).
There’s that corny country song that says, “sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers”. And I have to admit, I think it’s pretty true. When I think about all the guys I thought it would work out with, all the guys I prayed it would work out with… and now I see what utter jerks (or DBs) those guys ended up being, I really do thank God for not answering those prayers.
While I really never thought I’d be living this life, I’m really happy I’m living this life. So here’s to the single life, because I think it’s pretty fantastic.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Downside of Social Networking - ABBY
I'm the self-proclaimed "Queen of the Internet." I am a huge fan of facebook. But sometimes all this social networking can work against me.
Like today, when the Southern Boy asked to be my friend. At first, I was excited, and realized I need to remove the link to this blog ASAP (and gently remind readers to refrain from mentioning it on my wall). Before I accepted him, I decided to take a little tour through his profile.
That's when I saw it. Right there under his name, birthday, hometown, and religion.
Political Views: Republican
And not just that, his "About Me" section reads: "I will bleed on the flag to keep the stripes red."
As the one liberal author of this blog, I am used to living in "a house divided." But, contrary to what Tucker said, this is not like a Cougar being married to a Husky.
So now, I'm torn. It's not a TOTAL dealbreaker, I will go out with him a second time. Maybe we could have a really romantic healthcare debate. Maybe.
Not sure how Dr. Neil let this one slip through. But thanks, Mark Zuckerberg, for keeping me in the know.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
P.S. - GEORGINA
For those of you who are wondering, what’s NOT to like about online dating!?
Think about it. What is every girls’ biggest wish when it comes to men and dating? If you’re anything like me, it is simply that you have the ability to walk into a bar or church or a restaurant or a bookstore or wherever and be able to identify clearly which men (or women, if you’re so inclined) are compatible to you.
RIGHT?
Ladies and Gents, that’s what we have here. Sometimes the odd (literal and figurative) man gets thrown into the mix, and we gently hit “Close” in order to not be selfish and pass him along to the next girl. One person’s trash is another one’s treasure, isn’t that how the saying goes?
But really, that’s exactly what eHarmony allows you to see and experience: man after man who, in some way or another, “matches” some part of your personality. I’m telling you, I think it’s kind of fun.
We talk a lot about our dating experiences and what’s going on in our daily lives. I just wanted to let anyone who is out there reading and wondering if it is for you, why not give it a try? I was the BIGGEST skeptic when it came to eHarmony. If I can enjoy it and if Abby can enjoy it...chances are you will, too.
After all, I’ve gotten a few free meals, some coffee, and more alcohol than my liver probably needs out of the deal.
Win/Win.
Personal Success Story - GEORGINA
Remember how I admitted to everyone I was the Faze Out Girl? Not my proudest moment. However. I can finally tip my hat proudly and say I am no longer “that girl”!
Here is what happened: the Rude Canadian kindly left me alone for 4 days after I told him my friends were in town until Monday. Promptly Monday night I received a text message from him, asking how was my time with my guests. I answered, “Good, they’re still here, actually.” He responded, “Do you have any time to get together tomorrow?”
First of all. Let’s just be clear. I don’t respond well to any sort of comment or question that seems at all defensive. I automatically get defensive back and say things I probably should not.
So, I respond, with my guard up: “I don’t, actually…sorry!” He waits a few minutes and then sends back, “Well, should I even bother to keep asking?”
Second of all. That’s just not necessary. He had asked me out ONCE before and I couldn’t hang out because I had friends in town. No matter how much I did not want to see him again, you can’t automatically jump to that extreme of a reaction the second time a girl says she can’t hang out, because truthfully I did have plans. PLUS, Christmas time is already busy enough.
There I sat, literally in the place of our first date, and debated what to send back. I figured I had 3 options.
Option A: I could ignore him and just not respond. That is what I probably would have done in the past.
Option B: I could slightly lie and say I had a boyfriend. However…I reasoned this excuse would not work quite right because I had had breakfast with him barely two weeks prior and I hadn’t said anything about a boyfriend or seeing anyone else.
Option C: I could take the high road and be honest and simply say I was not interested. Which is exactly what I did.
My text back read thusly: “It might be better just to leave it at what it was…sorry to do this over text. It was great to meet you though.” He responded simply, “No worries. Thanks for the honesty.”
PHEW! My first attempt at the graceful let down went more smoothly than I anticipated. Not that I expected anything dramatic; I don’t really know what I expected. But I do know from now on, from this point forward, that I will always be honest and truthful in these kinds of situations. I wonder why I never did this before, I actually feel pretty good.
I’ll let him just draw his own conclusions about what turned me off. I’m sure he would never guess it was because he was rude to the waitress.
Here is what happened: the Rude Canadian kindly left me alone for 4 days after I told him my friends were in town until Monday. Promptly Monday night I received a text message from him, asking how was my time with my guests. I answered, “Good, they’re still here, actually.” He responded, “Do you have any time to get together tomorrow?”
First of all. Let’s just be clear. I don’t respond well to any sort of comment or question that seems at all defensive. I automatically get defensive back and say things I probably should not.
So, I respond, with my guard up: “I don’t, actually…sorry!” He waits a few minutes and then sends back, “Well, should I even bother to keep asking?”
Second of all. That’s just not necessary. He had asked me out ONCE before and I couldn’t hang out because I had friends in town. No matter how much I did not want to see him again, you can’t automatically jump to that extreme of a reaction the second time a girl says she can’t hang out, because truthfully I did have plans. PLUS, Christmas time is already busy enough.
There I sat, literally in the place of our first date, and debated what to send back. I figured I had 3 options.
Option A: I could ignore him and just not respond. That is what I probably would have done in the past.
Option B: I could slightly lie and say I had a boyfriend. However…I reasoned this excuse would not work quite right because I had had breakfast with him barely two weeks prior and I hadn’t said anything about a boyfriend or seeing anyone else.
Option C: I could take the high road and be honest and simply say I was not interested. Which is exactly what I did.
My text back read thusly: “It might be better just to leave it at what it was…sorry to do this over text. It was great to meet you though.” He responded simply, “No worries. Thanks for the honesty.”
PHEW! My first attempt at the graceful let down went more smoothly than I anticipated. Not that I expected anything dramatic; I don’t really know what I expected. But I do know from now on, from this point forward, that I will always be honest and truthful in these kinds of situations. I wonder why I never did this before, I actually feel pretty good.
I’ll let him just draw his own conclusions about what turned me off. I’m sure he would never guess it was because he was rude to the waitress.
2 Dates in 2 Days - ABBY
It's an interesting thing, going on dates back-to-back. It reminds me of a of Saved by the Bell episode where Kelly had to go on dates with 2 different guys at the same time. Also, the Hannah Montana Movie where she does a similar thing (yes, I've seen The Hannah Montana Movie.).
But my weekend didn't involve wigs and there were a good 36 hours between dates. Here are the deets:
Date #1:
Coffee at Cafe Ladro on Queen Anne with The Traveler (he just got back from a 3-week trip in China). I walked up from my house, and he was waiting for me when I got there. He gave me a hug and asked if he could get me a coffee. After being quizzed the night before by friends about what I was going to order (a MoGlo? A bran muffin?) I decided on a latte. He had drip coffee.
There was lots to talk about--his trip, our (shared) neighborhood, jobs, families, etc. There were only 1 or 2 breaks in the conversation longer than a few seconds. He's really nice, smart, easy to talk to. He said he'd like to hang out again, and I would too. Much to my friend's disappointment, I wasn't necessarily "giddy" or full of details after the date. I had a good time, but it wasn't like I was sitting around waiting for my phone to ring. I tend to think that's just not my style, but I'm also open to the possibility that it will be my style when the "right one" comes along. So we'll see.
Vital Stats:
I wore: Skinny jeans, brown boots, and my new black chunky knit sweater
He wore: Jeans, a white/navy long-sleeve tee
Random fact: He's the oldest guy I've ever gone on a date with (32)
Second date possibility: Definitely. We've been e-mailing a bit, and he wanted to hang out this week, but with Christmas 4 days away (what?!) it didn't work out.
Overall score: 7?
Date #2:
Beer at Hilltop Alehouse with The Southern Boy. Yes ladies, he has an accent (swoon, away). I got there just a minute or two before him, and I was pleasantly surprised that he was cuter than his eHarm pictures. He was easy to talk to, right from the get-go and the conversation was comfortable and easy the whole time.
He comes from a big family, owns a house, has an interesting job (although probably the polar opposite from my own), and seems like a generally "nice" guy. He did all the right things--paid, opened doors, walked me to my car. It felt a little more comfortable than Date #1, although, this might have had something to do with the fact that I was drinking a Pilsner, not a double-shot latte.
Vital Stats:
I wore: See Date #1 (I wore the same outfit)
He wore: Jeans, a long-sleeved white shirt with a grey tee over it
Random fact: During the hour and half we spent together, we realized we've been in the same place at the same time more than once.
Second date possibility: Totally. He texted me a few hours after the date saying he had a great time, and I think we'll plan something for after the Holidays.
Overall Score: 8
Overall, I'm not head-over-heels for either guy (yet) but my first 2 online dating experiences were positive, and that's saying something. I was talking with a friend this morning about how weird dating really is. We meet a total stranger and make small talk for a couple hours to see if we're "compatible." It's amazing how 2 hours of judging each other can actually be fun sometimes.
Vital Stats:
I wore: Skinny jeans, brown boots, and my new black chunky knit sweater
He wore: Jeans, a white/navy long-sleeve tee
Random fact: He's the oldest guy I've ever gone on a date with (32)
Second date possibility: Definitely. We've been e-mailing a bit, and he wanted to hang out this week, but with Christmas 4 days away (what?!) it didn't work out.
Overall score: 7?
Date #2:
Beer at Hilltop Alehouse with The Southern Boy. Yes ladies, he has an accent (swoon, away). I got there just a minute or two before him, and I was pleasantly surprised that he was cuter than his eHarm pictures. He was easy to talk to, right from the get-go and the conversation was comfortable and easy the whole time.
He comes from a big family, owns a house, has an interesting job (although probably the polar opposite from my own), and seems like a generally "nice" guy. He did all the right things--paid, opened doors, walked me to my car. It felt a little more comfortable than Date #1, although, this might have had something to do with the fact that I was drinking a Pilsner, not a double-shot latte.
Vital Stats:
I wore: See Date #1 (I wore the same outfit)
He wore: Jeans, a long-sleeved white shirt with a grey tee over it
Random fact: During the hour and half we spent together, we realized we've been in the same place at the same time more than once.
Second date possibility: Totally. He texted me a few hours after the date saying he had a great time, and I think we'll plan something for after the Holidays.
Overall Score: 8
Overall, I'm not head-over-heels for either guy (yet) but my first 2 online dating experiences were positive, and that's saying something. I was talking with a friend this morning about how weird dating really is. We meet a total stranger and make small talk for a couple hours to see if we're "compatible." It's amazing how 2 hours of judging each other can actually be fun sometimes.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
To everything, turn, turn, turn - TUCKER
My theory: if a guy says he’s 5’10”, he’s really 5’8” and if he says he’s 6’5”, he’s really, really tall. Much to Andy’s chagrin, I have a height restriction. Call me petty, call me picky, I don’t think it’s too much to ask to be able to date a guy that I don’t have to look down at to look him in the eye. I come from a family of tall ones, and I’m fairly certain that if I did bring a short guy into the mix he’d feel like he was amongst the land of the jolly green giants. So really, I’m doing it for the shorty’s own good (I’m a glass half full kind of person).
Regardless, I went out on date No. 1 this week. And my response isn’t one of pure delight, or pure disgust, it can be summed up in one quick syllable: eh. That’s right, eh.
Nice guy IM’ed me on match.com, I responded. We chatted, seemed like a decent guy (read: not a serial killer), he asked me out for coffee, I accepted. We exchanged phone numbers, and thus began the text dance. As you may know, I’m not fond of the texting when I haven’t even heard the person’s voice… but these texts were fairly benign. More like, “how’s your day?” and less like, “what’s your philosophy on life?” We postponed the date once because I got a cold, and the date was scheduled during the time period where I was so stuffed up I couldn’t breathe through my nose… and you can’t really put your best foot forward when you are a total mouth breather.
We made it to coffee. And my theory was proved right, while he said he was 5’10”, he clearly was not. I mean, I know online dating profiles are an area of life where you embellish… but I just wish you couldn’t embellish your height, us tall girls (or maybe it’s just me) have height limits.
But I powered on, and coffee was nice. He bought me a latte, he got an Americano. And we chatted for a little less than an hour and a half.
I have to say, I CANNOT stand coffee dates.
First, there are people all around you sitting alone, reading, studying, LISTENING TO EVERY WORD YOU SAY while you are on this awkward, obviously blind date.
While I don’t mind stating to the blog readers of the world that I am doing online dating, I don’t really want to share that fact or my first in person meeting with the people at the next table. Secondly, people are coming and going, so it gets loud, kids are running around like crazy, and some come up and start talking to you (true story). Thirdly, I’m already jittery enough, and the caffeine consumed at a coffee date doesn’t help, I think a single alcoholic drink may do the trick to help me relax. Anyways, he was nice. Everyone keeps wanting all the details, and there really aren’t many to share. He is a nice guy, I enjoyed talking with him, but I’m pretty sure there was no romantic feeling for either of us. And thus ended date No 1. I’ll probably never hear from him again… and that’s ok. It’s a bummer to not have some crazy date to share with you readers, but I feel like my date is a much more typical date. Guy meets girl, guy’s nice, girl’s nice… but no chemistry.
And the world keeps turning.
Vital Stats:
I wore: skinny jeans, tucked into my new camel leather boots, a grey sleeveless blouse (way cuter than I can describe here) topped with a black long sweater.
He wore: jeans, a grey blue long sleeve shirt with a Northface jacket over it (which he never took off?).
Random fact: He’s from South America.
Second date possibility: not on my side.
Overall score: 7 in conversation, 3 in date-ability.
Regardless, I went out on date No. 1 this week. And my response isn’t one of pure delight, or pure disgust, it can be summed up in one quick syllable: eh. That’s right, eh.
Nice guy IM’ed me on match.com, I responded. We chatted, seemed like a decent guy (read: not a serial killer), he asked me out for coffee, I accepted. We exchanged phone numbers, and thus began the text dance. As you may know, I’m not fond of the texting when I haven’t even heard the person’s voice… but these texts were fairly benign. More like, “how’s your day?” and less like, “what’s your philosophy on life?” We postponed the date once because I got a cold, and the date was scheduled during the time period where I was so stuffed up I couldn’t breathe through my nose… and you can’t really put your best foot forward when you are a total mouth breather.
We made it to coffee. And my theory was proved right, while he said he was 5’10”, he clearly was not. I mean, I know online dating profiles are an area of life where you embellish… but I just wish you couldn’t embellish your height, us tall girls (or maybe it’s just me) have height limits.
But I powered on, and coffee was nice. He bought me a latte, he got an Americano. And we chatted for a little less than an hour and a half.
I have to say, I CANNOT stand coffee dates.
First, there are people all around you sitting alone, reading, studying, LISTENING TO EVERY WORD YOU SAY while you are on this awkward, obviously blind date.
While I don’t mind stating to the blog readers of the world that I am doing online dating, I don’t really want to share that fact or my first in person meeting with the people at the next table. Secondly, people are coming and going, so it gets loud, kids are running around like crazy, and some come up and start talking to you (true story). Thirdly, I’m already jittery enough, and the caffeine consumed at a coffee date doesn’t help, I think a single alcoholic drink may do the trick to help me relax. Anyways, he was nice. Everyone keeps wanting all the details, and there really aren’t many to share. He is a nice guy, I enjoyed talking with him, but I’m pretty sure there was no romantic feeling for either of us. And thus ended date No 1. I’ll probably never hear from him again… and that’s ok. It’s a bummer to not have some crazy date to share with you readers, but I feel like my date is a much more typical date. Guy meets girl, guy’s nice, girl’s nice… but no chemistry.
And the world keeps turning.
Vital Stats:
I wore: skinny jeans, tucked into my new camel leather boots, a grey sleeveless blouse (way cuter than I can describe here) topped with a black long sweater.
He wore: jeans, a grey blue long sleeve shirt with a Northface jacket over it (which he never took off?).
Random fact: He’s from South America.
Second date possibility: not on my side.
Overall score: 7 in conversation, 3 in date-ability.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Confessions of a (not very good) dater - GEORGINA
This is my confession (oh hey Usher): I have not physically logged on to eHarmony in over a week. I feel guilty about this, I honestly do. I just have ZERO motivation. I know I am being rude to the (few) guys who are waiting for a reply back. And…I’m maybe being rude to the guy who texted me a few days ago to get together and whom I never texted back. Oops.
And maybe I’m leading the rude Canadian on by agreeing to go see a movie with him next week…when I have absolutely no intention of following through.
See, I’m very much the “faze out” girl. Yes, I am that girl. Andy and I have actually gotten in a shouting match (in the bathroom) over my faze out tactics (she thinks it’s rude. I happen to agree with her, but just not to the point where I’ll actually confront it).
Worst. eHarmony. Client. Ever.
Let me try to make this a little better for myself. I WILL go on eHarmony in the next few days to catch up on my matches. Do not worry, little readers. I’m not, as Tucker said to me, putting all my eggs in one basket. I guess I’m just catching up with Andy’s case of the 9-5s. How many more first dates can I take? I’m starting to bore myself with repetitions of the same old information (name, age, job/career, what I do for fun…). Next date I go on (addendum: the next date that I see no future 2nd date possibility with) I might spice it up a little by making up some creative and entertaining (for myself) information.
Feel free to leave comments with any amusing and imaginative suggestions you may have. I’m thinking childhood in the circus type stuff.
Maybe you’d like an update on my old dates?
Date #1 (undisclosed and insecure divorced guy): never called me. Mayyybe he could tell I was not interested when I said I was sick and bailed? To my credit, I WAS sick. But I probably could have held out a little longer.
Date #2 (the goooooood one): we’re going out this weekend. :) :) :)
Date #3 (the rude Canadian): he keeps calling and texting me. He wanted to see a movie this weekend; I said I had friends coming into town (true story). He granted that was fair (thanks so much), and said we would go out early next week, instead. Not if I can help it.
I’m slowly realizing that while this whole online dating thing may be kind of a game to me, it’s probably not to most of the guys who are communicating with me. It’s fair to say that most of the men who are on eHarmony really do want to find a girl to settle down with and get married. I said to one of the guys I went out with, that I could get married tomorrow (if I found the right person) or I could get married when I was 75 and be perfectly content for the time I was still single. What is most important to me is to be happy. Point being, I’m just not in this huge rush to the alter. Life will be lived and will go on regardless of whether I’m married or single. But for me and the sake of this experiment, it’s probably not fair to communicate with a guy I realllllly do not ever see being in to, simply for the sake of writing about it. Is that bad?
Slash, it will diminish the number of faze outs I actually have to orchestrate. And that’s always a plus.
And maybe I’m leading the rude Canadian on by agreeing to go see a movie with him next week…when I have absolutely no intention of following through.
See, I’m very much the “faze out” girl. Yes, I am that girl. Andy and I have actually gotten in a shouting match (in the bathroom) over my faze out tactics (she thinks it’s rude. I happen to agree with her, but just not to the point where I’ll actually confront it).
Worst. eHarmony. Client. Ever.
Let me try to make this a little better for myself. I WILL go on eHarmony in the next few days to catch up on my matches. Do not worry, little readers. I’m not, as Tucker said to me, putting all my eggs in one basket. I guess I’m just catching up with Andy’s case of the 9-5s. How many more first dates can I take? I’m starting to bore myself with repetitions of the same old information (name, age, job/career, what I do for fun…). Next date I go on (addendum: the next date that I see no future 2nd date possibility with) I might spice it up a little by making up some creative and entertaining (for myself) information.
Feel free to leave comments with any amusing and imaginative suggestions you may have. I’m thinking childhood in the circus type stuff.
Maybe you’d like an update on my old dates?
Date #1 (undisclosed and insecure divorced guy): never called me. Mayyybe he could tell I was not interested when I said I was sick and bailed? To my credit, I WAS sick. But I probably could have held out a little longer.
Date #2 (the goooooood one): we’re going out this weekend. :) :) :)
Date #3 (the rude Canadian): he keeps calling and texting me. He wanted to see a movie this weekend; I said I had friends coming into town (true story). He granted that was fair (thanks so much), and said we would go out early next week, instead. Not if I can help it.
I’m slowly realizing that while this whole online dating thing may be kind of a game to me, it’s probably not to most of the guys who are communicating with me. It’s fair to say that most of the men who are on eHarmony really do want to find a girl to settle down with and get married. I said to one of the guys I went out with, that I could get married tomorrow (if I found the right person) or I could get married when I was 75 and be perfectly content for the time I was still single. What is most important to me is to be happy. Point being, I’m just not in this huge rush to the alter. Life will be lived and will go on regardless of whether I’m married or single. But for me and the sake of this experiment, it’s probably not fair to communicate with a guy I realllllly do not ever see being in to, simply for the sake of writing about it. Is that bad?
Slash, it will diminish the number of faze outs I actually have to orchestrate. And that’s always a plus.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Lagging Behind - ABBY
Everyone keeps reminding me that I haven't posted in awhile. It is December, people, which means the busiest time in my personal AND professional life. It's been hard to find time for my dating life.
But as the youngest of the group, I'm used to being a bit behind than the rest. I have 2 dates lined up for this weekend, so that should create some juicy blog material. Unfortunately, both of them are "day dates" which are not my favorite. Oh well...so goes December.
I have been saving something for you though...THE MODEL. I got matched with a guy last week who's occupation is "model." A refreshing change from "military" and "IT analyst," I must say. There are a few interesting things about this guy, which I will outline below:
1. He feels the need to remind me about 7 times in his profile of his occupation, but unfortunately he spells it "modle" each time.
But as the youngest of the group, I'm used to being a bit behind than the rest. I have 2 dates lined up for this weekend, so that should create some juicy blog material. Unfortunately, both of them are "day dates" which are not my favorite. Oh well...so goes December.
I have been saving something for you though...THE MODEL. I got matched with a guy last week who's occupation is "model." A refreshing change from "military" and "IT analyst," I must say. There are a few interesting things about this guy, which I will outline below:
1. He feels the need to remind me about 7 times in his profile of his occupation, but unfortunately he spells it "modle" each time.
2. He's not cute. Perhaps he's a hand modle?
3. He's most passionate about "living life 2 the fullest."
4. One of the 5 things he can't live without is Abercrombie.
5. He's most thankful that his parents are still together after 23 years (he's 24).
6. Direct quote: "Even though I modle im varey educated on current events, politics and law." (You can't MAKE this stuff up!)
7. One of his pictures is a dance party at his apartment (?) with 2 scantily-clad girls in the foreground. The "modle" is nowhere to be seen. I'm assuming he just wants the girls on eHarm to know that they would be welcome at his place in a sheer dress and/or leopard print mini skirt?
8. One of his pictures features him topless wearing khaki cargo shorts and a cowboy hat (of course). The caption reads "Figured id give u a full body shot :)" Oh really? I figured you were a TOOL.
THIS is the sea I am wading in. Just wanted to give you all the full picture.
But really, I am excited about my dates this weekend. As long as they don't show up wearing an Abercrombie-emblazoned hoodie, they should score some points in my book.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
eHarmony: Date Three - GEORGINA
I’m not exactly sure how to address the date I went on this morning. So, I’m just going to plunge in.
We met at the 5 Spot on top of Queen Anne. While I was getting ready, I received a text message from him, saying: “I have a bad memory. Did we say the 5 Spot?” Hm. Okay. We talked roughly 15 hours ago. I answer yes, and say I’ll see him at 12:30.
I decide to brave the elements and walk up to meet him. I walk into the restaurant; he’s standing in the front and greets me with a hug, saying he just got a table. My first impression of him is that he’s tall and very good looking. My second impression, as we sit, is that this is going to be awkward. He won’t meet my eyes, and it takes about a full five minutes before we even start talking and having a conversation.
After those initial five minutes, however…let’s just say he shared a lot of information with me. As in he carried the conversation. As in...he didn’t stop talking about himself – ever. I believe four questions were even directed at me. And I’m not someone who likes to jump in and talk about my personal experiences or opinions with people I don’t know, so I spent most of that time just responding to the things he was saying. I’m not trying to be rude, but I kind of started zoning him out after a while. To the point where he literally asked me a question (one of the four) about something he had said and I literally sat there and stared at him, because I had NO IDEA what he had been talking about.
Is it bad to say all I could think about was my date from Tuesday?!
The point in the date where I began to just start laughing silently to myself about how I WISH someone was videotaping what I was going through, was when the waitress set down [his] Visa card in front of me. He looks at me, raises an eyebrow, and then says to the waitress, “Does she LOOK like a [Joe]?” (Name changed)
Sadly…that was not the first degrading or rude comment he made to the wait staff. Let me highlight the best lines for your reading enjoyment.
We met at the 5 Spot on top of Queen Anne. While I was getting ready, I received a text message from him, saying: “I have a bad memory. Did we say the 5 Spot?” Hm. Okay. We talked roughly 15 hours ago. I answer yes, and say I’ll see him at 12:30.
I decide to brave the elements and walk up to meet him. I walk into the restaurant; he’s standing in the front and greets me with a hug, saying he just got a table. My first impression of him is that he’s tall and very good looking. My second impression, as we sit, is that this is going to be awkward. He won’t meet my eyes, and it takes about a full five minutes before we even start talking and having a conversation.
After those initial five minutes, however…let’s just say he shared a lot of information with me. As in he carried the conversation. As in...he didn’t stop talking about himself – ever. I believe four questions were even directed at me. And I’m not someone who likes to jump in and talk about my personal experiences or opinions with people I don’t know, so I spent most of that time just responding to the things he was saying. I’m not trying to be rude, but I kind of started zoning him out after a while. To the point where he literally asked me a question (one of the four) about something he had said and I literally sat there and stared at him, because I had NO IDEA what he had been talking about.
Is it bad to say all I could think about was my date from Tuesday?!
The point in the date where I began to just start laughing silently to myself about how I WISH someone was videotaping what I was going through, was when the waitress set down [his] Visa card in front of me. He looks at me, raises an eyebrow, and then says to the waitress, “Does she LOOK like a [Joe]?” (Name changed)
Sadly…that was not the first degrading or rude comment he made to the wait staff. Let me highlight the best lines for your reading enjoyment.
- [He ordered the Grand Slam with sausage. When his meal came, it was with bacon.] “Could I get sausage, please? That IS what I ordered.”
- [After the waitress had re-filled our coffee cups for the third time...pretty standard, I’d say,] “Did you really have to re-fill our coffee a thousand times?”
- [When the waitress didn’t come with the check promptly enough,] “I take it speed isn’t really your thing?”
Additionally, this guy actually prayed before our meal. And told me he was looking for “a nice Christian girl who knows how to party”. Examples A-Z of what I’m NOT looking for.
Vital Stats
I wore: skinny jeans tucked into knee high black boots and a plaid shirt. For a coat, I wore a camel colored pea coat.
He wore: Jeans, a t-shirt with a hoodie over it. And a blingin’ watch.
Random Fact: He’s rude to waitresses.
Second date possibility: According to him, he did say he wants to hang out again. And he already texted me, EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW I HAD PLANS, and asked me to see a movie tonight: “Too bad you have plans, I was going to ask you to see that new Matt Damon movie with me” (direct text quote). Thank God for small mercies. According to me…ugh.
Overall Score:I don’t want to be mean, but I just did not have a good time. I just cannot see myself being with someone like that. Ever.
The Dealbreaker - TUCKER
First of all, I have to agree with Andy and her post regarding the sheer exhaustion of online dating after working a 9 hour day. Once I get home from my various evening plans, the absolute last thing I want to do is go on my computer and look at the guys who are trying to communicate with me. Because BELIEVE me there are some doozies out there.
Doozy of the week:
This sweet guy sent me a message, and said all the right things. He wrote me about his amazing job (showing his stability), his volunteer work with kids (showing how he cares about others), how much he loves his family (score in my book), and asked me questions about myself (showing that he isn’t completely self involved). Seems fairly normal, right? WRONG. Oh so VERY wrong. He also asked for my phone number, and I thought, “oh what the heck” and gave it to him. He proceeded to text me every day for a week, which doesn’t seem horrible, because we were just getting to know each other… until he started texting me questions that are not what I call “text friendly”. Exhibit a) “what made you go into your specialty in nursing?” Exhibit B) “what type of things do you do for fun?” At this point I’m screaming at my phone, “JUST CALL ME!” I do realize I could have taken the initiative to call him, but let’s be honest, I just didn’t want to.
So FINALLY 7 days later, he called me. But I was working, and he didn’t leave a message. So I called him back, and he didn’t answer, but I did leave a message. Then he called me back--- I’ll stop here, but believe me, this went on ALL night. A full twenty four hours later we finally talked on the phone. We talked for TWO hours. Everything was going well, very nice guy, great phone skills, asked me all sorts of questions, answered my questions and even had witty answers. Then he mentioned how he and some friends send emails regarding current events in sports. I asked if Tiger Woods had been a topic of conversation this week, because I mean COME ON, it’s the story of the week. He chuckled and said yes… and he proceeded, out of the blue, to tell me this story basically demonstrating his thoughts on cheating.
“So I was dating this girl in college, and we were perfect for each other. Totally best friends, it was the best relationship. Then one night I was out at the bar without her and found myself flirting with all these girls, and I knew where this was headed and knew it was not going to end well.” OK, well at this point I thought, “well great, at least he’s self aware and knows when he’s about to cross the line”. But then he continues… “So I left the bar and went and broke up with my girlfriend. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was crying, she was crying. And she said, ‘you can’t break up with me because of “what if” you cheat on me!’” And blog readers, he responded to his sobbing girlfriend, “it’s not a ‘what if’ I cheat on you, it’s a ‘when’ because it will happen.”
SERIOUSLY?!?!?
So basically he broke up with his girlfriend so that he could go hook up with other chicks. And he’s telling this story to someone he potentially would like to date? DEALBREAKER.
Did I mention that he prefaced this story with, “well this might ruin everything, but whatever”. Probably should’ve listened to that little inner voice, dude. Unfortunately this does not sound like someone I would like to get to know better or date… and get dumped by in two months, because he just “knows” he’s going to cheat on me. Did I also mention that he’s divorced? He failed to mention any of the details of that relationship…
Apparently he’s a firm believer of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” While I’m a firm believer that we are never going out.
Aaaaaaand I’m back at square one.
On a side note, the four of us would LOVE to hear any thoughts, comments or questions you may have.
Doozy of the week:
This sweet guy sent me a message, and said all the right things. He wrote me about his amazing job (showing his stability), his volunteer work with kids (showing how he cares about others), how much he loves his family (score in my book), and asked me questions about myself (showing that he isn’t completely self involved). Seems fairly normal, right? WRONG. Oh so VERY wrong. He also asked for my phone number, and I thought, “oh what the heck” and gave it to him. He proceeded to text me every day for a week, which doesn’t seem horrible, because we were just getting to know each other… until he started texting me questions that are not what I call “text friendly”. Exhibit a) “what made you go into your specialty in nursing?” Exhibit B) “what type of things do you do for fun?” At this point I’m screaming at my phone, “JUST CALL ME!” I do realize I could have taken the initiative to call him, but let’s be honest, I just didn’t want to.
So FINALLY 7 days later, he called me. But I was working, and he didn’t leave a message. So I called him back, and he didn’t answer, but I did leave a message. Then he called me back--- I’ll stop here, but believe me, this went on ALL night. A full twenty four hours later we finally talked on the phone. We talked for TWO hours. Everything was going well, very nice guy, great phone skills, asked me all sorts of questions, answered my questions and even had witty answers. Then he mentioned how he and some friends send emails regarding current events in sports. I asked if Tiger Woods had been a topic of conversation this week, because I mean COME ON, it’s the story of the week. He chuckled and said yes… and he proceeded, out of the blue, to tell me this story basically demonstrating his thoughts on cheating.
“So I was dating this girl in college, and we were perfect for each other. Totally best friends, it was the best relationship. Then one night I was out at the bar without her and found myself flirting with all these girls, and I knew where this was headed and knew it was not going to end well.” OK, well at this point I thought, “well great, at least he’s self aware and knows when he’s about to cross the line”. But then he continues… “So I left the bar and went and broke up with my girlfriend. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was crying, she was crying. And she said, ‘you can’t break up with me because of “what if” you cheat on me!’” And blog readers, he responded to his sobbing girlfriend, “it’s not a ‘what if’ I cheat on you, it’s a ‘when’ because it will happen.”
SERIOUSLY?!?!?
So basically he broke up with his girlfriend so that he could go hook up with other chicks. And he’s telling this story to someone he potentially would like to date? DEALBREAKER.
Did I mention that he prefaced this story with, “well this might ruin everything, but whatever”. Probably should’ve listened to that little inner voice, dude. Unfortunately this does not sound like someone I would like to get to know better or date… and get dumped by in two months, because he just “knows” he’s going to cheat on me. Did I also mention that he’s divorced? He failed to mention any of the details of that relationship…
Apparently he’s a firm believer of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” While I’m a firm believer that we are never going out.
Aaaaaaand I’m back at square one.
On a side note, the four of us would LOVE to hear any thoughts, comments or questions you may have.
Put your hands up... - GEORGINA
Let’s talk about making plans and following through…a girl’s favorite subject, right? I’m sure I’m not alone in the frustration that comes from a guy calling to ask you out…..with nothing definite in mind about what to do or where to go.
Okay, okay. I’m sure I’ll get my hands slapped for saying that. I know there are many guys who want to do what the girl wants to do and so are polite enough to not assume but instead ask her opinion. That is great.
However.
I prefer not to have phone conversations that go like the following.
Him: Hey, so I was thinking about noon or 1pm on Saturday? Would that work for you?
Me: Yeah that would work great. What were you thinking of doing?
Him: [silence, then]….oh. I guess I should have thought that far ahead. Can I call you back on Friday when I’ve brainstormed something to do?
Me: …yep. That would be fine.
And that would have been fine, except that the follow up phone call on Friday went something like, "I'm still pretty new to the area, so is there any place you'd like to go?" Didn't he tell me he'd think of something??
Is it just me or would that bug you too? Sometimes I do like suggesting cool, new places that open up. I like being “in the know” about new restaurants (even though, let’s be honest, I usually find about them through a friend). But it still scores major points when a guy takes the time to call you on the phone and has a definite plan in mind, or at the very least a few suggestions.
So, off I go to date #3 with the Canadian (no flag picture this time) - to a lunch date I suggested, following the wise wisdom of Dr. Neil Clark Warren (who suggests lunch dates as first dates because they're low pressure and in broad daylight).
Deets to come!
Okay, okay. I’m sure I’ll get my hands slapped for saying that. I know there are many guys who want to do what the girl wants to do and so are polite enough to not assume but instead ask her opinion. That is great.
However.
I prefer not to have phone conversations that go like the following.
Him: Hey, so I was thinking about noon or 1pm on Saturday? Would that work for you?
Me: Yeah that would work great. What were you thinking of doing?
Him: [silence, then]….oh. I guess I should have thought that far ahead. Can I call you back on Friday when I’ve brainstormed something to do?
Me: …yep. That would be fine.
And that would have been fine, except that the follow up phone call on Friday went something like, "I'm still pretty new to the area, so is there any place you'd like to go?" Didn't he tell me he'd think of something??
Is it just me or would that bug you too? Sometimes I do like suggesting cool, new places that open up. I like being “in the know” about new restaurants (even though, let’s be honest, I usually find about them through a friend). But it still scores major points when a guy takes the time to call you on the phone and has a definite plan in mind, or at the very least a few suggestions.
So, off I go to date #3 with the Canadian (no flag picture this time) - to a lunch date I suggested, following the wise wisdom of Dr. Neil Clark Warren (who suggests lunch dates as first dates because they're low pressure and in broad daylight).
Deets to come!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
eHarmony: Date Two (Guy #2) - GEORGINA
Well…it was a good one.
I’m sitting there, last night, thinking I don’t want to give this guy a chance because I didn’t sit down in front of him and IMMEDIATELY think, “Wow, he’s the One.” I do immediately think, however, “Wow, this guy is cute.” And he gets cuter the more we talk and the more I found out how much we have in common.
Dr. NCW did a good job on this one.
And…that’s all I’ll say right now. Stay tuned for a (hoped for) repeat performance.
It did make me think, though, about the idea of “the One”. I've never believed in the idea of "the One" and never believed that there was only one other person out there in the world for me. That just seemed pretty hopeless to me. I'd much rather prefer to think that there were many men, that based on circumstances or timing, that I would be able to make a good and happy life with. My mother has always said that she knew on the first date with my dad that he was the one and that she was going to marry him. It’s pretty clear to me now that that statement has resonated with me all these years, and that I have initially (and to be honest, harshly) written off guys simply because I did not feel an instantaneous spark.
The Stats:
I wore: black skinny jeans, light blue button up, a black and white striped cardigan. Over it I wore [Andy’s new] black capelet, and black booties.
He wore: jeans and a black v-neck sweater, with a dark gray wool peacoat.
Random facts: He’s a fan of Les Parrott.
Second date possibility: YES. At least….I hope. He mentioned several times how we had to get together again and that he would call me. So we’ll see.
Overall score: I was extremely and pleasantly surprised at how good of a time I had. The time flew by, we never ran out of things to talk about, and I spent a lot of time laughing. We covered every major subject, from childhood upbringing, to religion, to politics, and beyond. I would say, as far as first dates go, it was probably a good 8 out of 10. And if you know me…you know that means something!
Saturday I go on eHarmony Date Number Three, with Guy Number Three. And yes, it's the Canadian this time.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Keeping You Posted - ABBY
Well, hello again. There's not a lot to report...still no dates. But trust me, I'm trying. My matches get delivered to my inbox around 2:30am. So each morning after my alarm goes off, I sit up and hope for something good while the glow of my MacBook wakes me up. On a good day, I get 10 matches and only close 9 of them.
Now, before you accuse me of being "picky," I would like to give you a taste of what I'm working with here.
Exhibit A: The question is "what is the last book you read and enjoyed?" His answer: "n/a." Am I supposed to take that to mean you're illiterate? Or just not a big fan of the printed word?
Exhibit B: "I like spongebob. I can't help it. That show is great. It is so crazy it's right on my level."
Exhibit C: Occupation: "I work at McDonald's lol." Is that a joke?
I am in some level of communication with 10 guys right now. A few of them seem great, they are just verrrrry slow at responding, even if they are the ones who initiate the conversation. This is hard for me to understand in the world of iphones and free wireless internet. Do we need an eHarmony app? Ironically, the guy I am communicating with the most is still out of the country.
So I'll keep waiting. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll wake up to the match of my life (the one who's a great communicator, open to new ideas and places, makes me laugh, and most importantly, e-mails me back the same day).
Now, before you accuse me of being "picky," I would like to give you a taste of what I'm working with here.
Exhibit A: The question is "what is the last book you read and enjoyed?" His answer: "n/a." Am I supposed to take that to mean you're illiterate? Or just not a big fan of the printed word?
Exhibit B: "I like spongebob. I can't help it. That show is great. It is so crazy it's right on my level."
Exhibit C: Occupation: "I work at McDonald's lol." Is that a joke?
I am in some level of communication with 10 guys right now. A few of them seem great, they are just verrrrry slow at responding, even if they are the ones who initiate the conversation. This is hard for me to understand in the world of iphones and free wireless internet. Do we need an eHarmony app? Ironically, the guy I am communicating with the most is still out of the country.
So I'll keep waiting. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll wake up to the match of my life (the one who's a great communicator, open to new ideas and places, makes me laugh, and most importantly, e-mails me back the same day).
eHarmony: Date One (and one fail) - GEORGINA
On Thursday I made two dates for this weekend: one for Saturday night and one for Sunday afternoon. On Friday I got the flu; I emailed my Saturday date and explained the situation, asking if we could reschedule. No response. On Saturday I had a very important appointment with my hairdresser, and so did my best to pull myself together. On my way back home that afternoon I texted my date. This was our text log:
Me, 3:30pm: Hey, did you get my email yesterday about meeting tonight?
Him, 3:32pm: Nope. Will 8 o clock not work for u?
Me, 3:35pm: No, sorry! Can we reschedule?
Him: [no response]
Soooo...that was that.
Sunday. Still feeling sick. Meeting Guy #2 in Kirkland. I put on makeup for the first time in days and rolled out. I was a little late, mostly because I was dawdling crossing 520 singing Christmas songs to myself. I finally reached Kirkland, just about five minutes past 1pm, when we were supposed to meet. I ran into Caffe Ladro, made a quick scan of the available chairs and came to the obvious conclusion that my blind date was not there yet. I ordered a tea and went to the one available chair to wait. Five minutes went by. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. I kept checking my phone and texting my friends: He's not here yet! I want to leave. I was too preoccupied texting and reading latest breaking news on my Blackberry to notice when a tall man walked in. I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, but he was wearing a beanie, so I couldn't tell if this was my guy, and I didn't want to crane my neck to check him out. Finally my phone rang. I answered it, but noticed this guy was standing right next to me, grinning in my face. He waved his phone at me and said, "I thought that was you!" Then gave me a huge hug.
Fine. Not a big deal. He was nice and easy to talk to, and not bad looking. He also was wearing a great watch. We walked from the coffee shop across the street to a pub because he was hungry. Although I didn't want to eat, he assured me I could nibble off his plate. No thank you.
Things he revealed during our hour and half together:
Since Andy filled out her stats, I'll do mine as well.
I wore: skinny jeans, a striped sailor shirt, black leather jacket, black booties, and a scarf.
He wore: Jeans, a tee shirt, beanie.
Location: Caffe Ladro and then Wild Rover.
Second Date Possibility: Well, he asked if he passed my "test" to which I said, "I don't really have a test...but sure....yeah." So, yes.
Final Score: Not a love match on my part. Nice guy, but I don't see it going anywhere. I did agree to go out with him again, but only because...well...I can't say no.
Me, 3:30pm: Hey, did you get my email yesterday about meeting tonight?
Him, 3:32pm: Nope. Will 8 o clock not work for u?
Me, 3:35pm: No, sorry! Can we reschedule?
Him: [no response]
Soooo...that was that.
Sunday. Still feeling sick. Meeting Guy #2 in Kirkland. I put on makeup for the first time in days and rolled out. I was a little late, mostly because I was dawdling crossing 520 singing Christmas songs to myself. I finally reached Kirkland, just about five minutes past 1pm, when we were supposed to meet. I ran into Caffe Ladro, made a quick scan of the available chairs and came to the obvious conclusion that my blind date was not there yet. I ordered a tea and went to the one available chair to wait. Five minutes went by. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. I kept checking my phone and texting my friends: He's not here yet! I want to leave. I was too preoccupied texting and reading latest breaking news on my Blackberry to notice when a tall man walked in. I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, but he was wearing a beanie, so I couldn't tell if this was my guy, and I didn't want to crane my neck to check him out. Finally my phone rang. I answered it, but noticed this guy was standing right next to me, grinning in my face. He waved his phone at me and said, "I thought that was you!" Then gave me a huge hug.
Fine. Not a big deal. He was nice and easy to talk to, and not bad looking. He also was wearing a great watch. We walked from the coffee shop across the street to a pub because he was hungry. Although I didn't want to eat, he assured me I could nibble off his plate. No thank you.
Things he revealed during our hour and half together:
- He's been married before. Which he apologized profusely for not telling me. And I kept having to say "no, it's totally ok. No I'm serious. It's ok."
- He hasn't traveled - much - but did say his ideal travel spot was an imaginary resort in Alaska.
- He burped, then said his confidence was shot for the rest of the day. He was serious.
- He doesn't like cats. Then refuted that statement the minute I said I liked them and had one.
Since Andy filled out her stats, I'll do mine as well.
I wore: skinny jeans, a striped sailor shirt, black leather jacket, black booties, and a scarf.
He wore: Jeans, a tee shirt, beanie.
Location: Caffe Ladro and then Wild Rover.
Second Date Possibility: Well, he asked if he passed my "test" to which I said, "I don't really have a test...but sure....yeah." So, yes.
Final Score: Not a love match on my part. Nice guy, but I don't see it going anywhere. I did agree to go out with him again, but only because...well...I can't say no.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
match.com… I have a bone to pick with you. - TUCKER
match.com for dummies:
• match.com sends you emails everyday with your “Daily 5”, a list of five guys they think you would be compatible with… I think it’s purely random… but that’s just me.
• match.com has a search function where you can search through all the guys on based on location, age, hair color, religion, politics, eye color… basically it could get as specific as you want. This function is awesome… until it gets boring.
The novelty of sifting through hundreds of men has lost its luster. I literally DO feel like there’s a line of men just parading in front of me. I get way too many emails from guys I would NEVER be interested in. I can’t stand these emails that say, “hey, I’m 50… if that’s ok with you”. Uh no, no that is not ok with me. Apparently I am catnip to the 50 year olds. Not my favorite thing….it’s cluttering up my inbox.
Then let’s talk about the guys that ARE interesting, someone I would consider getting to know better. I’ve gotten over the whole “the guy does the winking first” thing, and have started winking at guys. Seriously, I’m winking at so many guys match.com must think I have a twitch. This would be the normal time for me to start saying to myself, “wow, winking at guys first?... look at me… I’m progressive!”… if I was getting much of a response, but I’m not.
SOME people [Andy] say I need to add a bikini picture to my profile. Is that really what this comes down to? What I look like in a two piece? I can save them all the trouble: a) I don’t have the body of Megan Fox. 2) yes, I have breasts. C) I prefer the bandeau style of bikini top.
Three words: N and O. End of conversation.
One hint: I do NOT look like this:
PS. I hope I’m this happy when I’m 80 and in a swimsuit.
• match.com sends you emails everyday with your “Daily 5”, a list of five guys they think you would be compatible with… I think it’s purely random… but that’s just me.
• match.com has a search function where you can search through all the guys on based on location, age, hair color, religion, politics, eye color… basically it could get as specific as you want. This function is awesome… until it gets boring.
The novelty of sifting through hundreds of men has lost its luster. I literally DO feel like there’s a line of men just parading in front of me. I get way too many emails from guys I would NEVER be interested in. I can’t stand these emails that say, “hey, I’m 50… if that’s ok with you”. Uh no, no that is not ok with me. Apparently I am catnip to the 50 year olds. Not my favorite thing….it’s cluttering up my inbox.
Then let’s talk about the guys that ARE interesting, someone I would consider getting to know better. I’ve gotten over the whole “the guy does the winking first” thing, and have started winking at guys. Seriously, I’m winking at so many guys match.com must think I have a twitch. This would be the normal time for me to start saying to myself, “wow, winking at guys first?... look at me… I’m progressive!”… if I was getting much of a response, but I’m not.
SOME people [Andy] say I need to add a bikini picture to my profile. Is that really what this comes down to? What I look like in a two piece? I can save them all the trouble: a) I don’t have the body of Megan Fox. 2) yes, I have breasts. C) I prefer the bandeau style of bikini top.
Three words: N and O. End of conversation.
One hint: I do NOT look like this:
PS. I hope I’m this happy when I’m 80 and in a swimsuit.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Lessons in Communicating - GEORGINA
I THINK....I'm about to get asked out on my first eHarmony date.
By a Canadian native.
I've heard tell that readers are confused about the stages of communication in eHarmony. Let me enlighten you.
In eHarmony, there are four (4) Stages of Communication.
By a Canadian native.
I've heard tell that readers are confused about the stages of communication in eHarmony. Let me enlighten you.
In eHarmony, there are four (4) Stages of Communication.
- Stage 1: START COMMUNICATION. Sounds pretty basic, right? Every day, DR. NCW sends me a handful of new matches. I sift through them, and toss out all the ones from Everett or Silverdale. I kid. I only toss out the ones from Silverdale. From there, either my match or I can choose to initiate conversation. Which means simply, I receive a set of five multiple choice questions to answer. Most common one? Believe it or not: "How often do you find yourself laughing?" From there, I can send back a set of questions to my match. For those of you who know me, I'm sure it's no surprise my first question sent is: "Are pets an important part of your life?" I don't trust a man who doesn't like animals.
- Stage 2: SEND MUST HAVES/CAN'T STANDS. On this one, I'm pretty sure DR. NCW jumped the gun a little. I can tell you right now that if, in answer to my question: "Where do you see yourself in 15 years?", a match answers "D: A house in the suburbs", then I already know what I Can't Stand. End of match.
- Stage 3: SHORT ANSWER QUESTIONS. This section is what killed me on tests when I was in school. I never knew exactly how to answer the question. That is to say, I would know the RIGHT answer, but I could never resist the urge to elaborate, therefore docking points. The same is true in Stage 3. Example: a match sent me the question: "What is your Ideal Man/Woman?" What do I do? I answer something roughly: "This is a hard question to answer. I don't know what my ideal woman looks like. I am totally joking....wow, my ideal man would probably be a guy who doesn't take life too seriously [...etc...]". With that guy, we have yet to progress to stage 4, so maybe he doesn't know how to take a joke.
- Stage 4. OPEN COMMUNICATION. I am currently in this stage with about four guys. Open Communication is like emailing back and forth, after a serious message from DR. NCW telling us to be careful when going on dates with people we don't know. In open communication, you have the option to send your phone number or real email address, which is what I have done with one of those guys. The Canadian. It is also a place where the guys say things like "Your answer to one of my questions was so heartfelt! That is exactly how I feel too. Sounds perfect!"
All in all, the stages take about 3 days to get through. And truth be told, I barely even read all their answers. It just seems a little much, and I truly can't tell if I like a guy based on their answers to a multiple choice question. Even IF they use "E: [fill in own answer]". I guess I rely more on good ol' fashioned chemistry than I thought.
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