Ten years ago if you had asked me where I would be today, I never, ever would have said, “single. VERY single. Working as a nurse in Seattle. And again, VERY single.” The other night while waiting for a movie to start, a preview for another movie came on where the main character said, “I’m living the life I never thought I’d be living.” This phrase resonated with me throughout the movie and the following 48 hours. I’m not quite sure why. I just can’t stop thinking about it and what it means to me. I think this is a pretty accurate statement for me at this point in 2009. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy with how my life turned out. I love my life, I love being able to go out for a spontaneous drink with Abby on a Sunday night. I love being a nurse. I love that I’ve had the opportunity to travel to Europe, to spend a crazy New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas, to live in far off places (the Midwest), to live the life of a single 27 year old.
If you had asked me ten years ago where I would be today, I would have probably said, “married by 21, baby by 24, followed by one every two years until I had four children”. WOW. As I read that statement now, it makes me laugh. My life could not be more different from that. The life I thought I wanted and what actually happened are so different from each other that I can’t even compare the two. Do I wish I got married at 21? I don’t know. I can’t even imagine what my life would be like.
While I see, one by one, my friends get married and have babies, I stand on the sidelines. But I really, truly believe that one day my time will come and all that I’ve experienced in the last ten years has helped to shape me into the best person I can be (beliefs pounded into me by my very supportive mother).
There’s that corny country song that says, “sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers”. And I have to admit, I think it’s pretty true. When I think about all the guys I thought it would work out with, all the guys I prayed it would work out with… and now I see what utter jerks (or DBs) those guys ended up being, I really do thank God for not answering those prayers.
While I really never thought I’d be living this life, I’m really happy I’m living this life. So here’s to the single life, because I think it’s pretty fantastic.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A while back, a close friend pointed me to this book (and quote), and it seems appropriate here. All of this will probably only make sense in hindsight--you could very well be in the middle of it all, even though it doesn't feel like it at times.
ReplyDelete"You never know when something begins. The more you delve and backtrack and think, the more clear it becomes that nothing has a discrete, independent history; people and events take shape not in orderly, chronological sequence but in relation to other forces and
events, all tangled skeins of necessity and interdependence and chance that after all could have produced only one result: what is."
John Edgar Wideman, "Brothers and Keepers."
Oh, and thanks for the blog--it is both entertaining and all too familiar. I'm just wondering if there really are that many men in this city with so little game (in the non-player sense) or do you guys just bring out the best in us? :)